A Year in Review – 2017
Here I am, again. Another year has come full circle, and I am a different person to who I was when I wrote my last yearly review. Although, one thing is the same – my understanding I have grown to be stronger and more resilient. This year was one tricky motherfucker to navigate, but I knew it was all in essence of putting myself first and valuing me enough, to not shortchange my needs. I identified when it was time to face the end of a chapter, and start a new one.
Without going into too much detail, mostly because it involves someone else… since I am, otherwise, fairly candid… I shifted to living on my own, for the first time in my life. Which not only made me financially responsible for my living arrangement, but allowed me to explore my own space. Starting with a fairly empty apartment, I amassed a slowly growing collection of furniture, entertainment and things. Having complete control over what I surrounded myself with, made me value the possessions I decided to keep, and buy. When I moved to Melbourne five years ago, I wanted to keep myself light and free from stuff in the scenario I wanted to just pivot and go somewhere else. While I have tried to keep things to a minimum, I found it challenging to come to terms with owning something like a couch that I can’t just walk away from. But, considering what I have achieved and where I’m at, I definitely won’t be leaving this city any time soon. I have grown and learned plenty…
This year, I discovered so much about myself. I was just as independent as I had always imagined myself to be. I also realised how much I needed to remove all boundaries, and just satisfy the very human needs I had, at any given time. Both a blessing and a curse, in hindsight. As I realised my fitness goals were all just what I thought I needed to have, based on the perceptions of others. How truly dependent I was on the feedback of other people was rather astounding. I had to strip it all back, and give me time to understand what I really wanted for myself. Even if that meant to put whatever fitness goals I thought I had, on hold, and explore just being. My health took a nosedive, and I honestly give zero fucks, because that is what I needed to do. While I am a little worse for wear, in regards to health, I now value the health I once had, and I can now focus on getting fitter and healthier for me, and not because an expectation was drilled into my head. It seems rather counter-intuitive, but it seems to make sense for me. But what sense do people really see in the things I see sense in? Just like the complete irony about this particular entry in my ongoing blog.
In my last yearly review, I spoke about disliking New Year’s resolutions. However, the tone is a little different for me and where I stand today. For this upcoming year, I am setting myself some goals for 2018. Going back a little bit in time – back to when I was young and, embarrassingly, somewhat aspirational – I used to find it a useful tool to set goals each year. I think the key difference here is I do not expect to change magically overnight when that clock ticks to the new year. Rather, I see it as a good way to have a definitive beginning to start measuring the realistic goals I have for myself. I am also allowing myself to be flexible, because dammit, shit changes and I might not want what I thought I wanted. But as long as I have a goal post in mind, I am happy to set myself on a path towards that.
And what I am going to do, in this blog, is list down my goals for 2018. I do not do this for accountability – because fuck you, you don’t need to be on my back about shit I want to achieve – I do this because I want to look back at this post in a year’s time and see what has changed. After all, Macadi stands for music always changes, as do I. And I damn will stand by my name, bitch. And fuck you, once more, for good measure.
These are my three goals for 2018, which are all realistic and measurable. Most of all, I will kill the fuck out of these goals.
Lose 10 kilograms of fat mass
Record 1 song
Create 1 piece of video content
What you will notice, is two of these goals are creative ones. And while they are modest – yes, I do hear cries of “but Macadi, we have not had a whole album’s worth of music for a fucking long time” – I think I need to focus on me before starting to get crazy with my music. Besides, if you want to hear more music from me, support a bitch. There comes a time when you need to step the fuck up and actually support the art you expect more of. Creating art does not come free, so do at least one thing to support the art you love, even if that’s not a direct monetary contribution – sharing the content you love with your social networks makes a huge difference to getting the word out art exists.
Anyway, that was a little off track… I am excited to approach this new year with a clear vision of what I want achieve. I think I have been running a little blind with my personal and musical goals the last couple of years – not forgetting being focused on other priorities, like work, which has been fucking amazing – so it will be good to regain that focus and momentum, on my personal goals, with a clear head.
Let’s hope you will hear from me before another year is over… No promises, though.
Much love, and happy new year to you.
P.S. I say fuck you, but it really means I love you. Thanks for reading – you are awesome!